Question: Hi, I went online to read about spirits being in your house and found that you answered someones question. In your answer you indicated something about a loved one passing away. My mom passed away in August. She was 53 and died of cancer. Before she died we would talk about her being at my house. (I have two sons 3 and 8) She was very sad about leaving them. Anyway since she has passed odd things have happened. I am not scared or anything I just don't know who I can talk to about it...I am afraid people will think I am crazy. I thought for a minute I was crazy! So any insight you can give me or books I can read I would greatly appreciate it.
Answer: First of all, let me say right now that I fully understand what you are going through. And you are not crazy!
In a strange coincidence, I can relate to your story because my own mother passed away this past July from uterine cancer. She was 65. She passed away at her home of 40 years, with all of her children and grandchildren around her. A few hours after she died, a few of my siblings and I (there are 6 of us!) were scrambling to find a particular necklace and earrings that my mom's husband wanted her to wear for her open-casket viewing. We tore her bedroom up and down looking for that set but after about an hour of looking in every box and drawer we could find, we gave up and resigned ourselves to finding another set. About an hour later my sister Allison went back into the bedroom to check on her 2-year-old daughter Ella, who had been sleeping on the bed the whole time we were searching in that room. When Allison walked in, Ella was sitting up on the bed playing with something. She had THE very necklace we were looking for around her neck and an earring in her hand. Some of us think maybe Mom helped her find the special jewelry.
The next day my other sister Susan was sitting in the spare bedroom on the bed with Ella. This is the room in which our mom stayed for the last 2 days of her life, and in which she died. Sue told me that Ella kept looking over in the corner and waving at something, and giggling. Ella was not quite 2 and didn't speak well yet, but she kept looking and waving. My sister said, there was nothing there. No person, no dogs or cats. Just a lamp in the corner and just maybe...Grandma! Kids, especially small ones, are particularly sensitive to energies. I believe she was indeed waving at her grandma's spirit.
For some reason it is hard for people to believe in ghosts or spirits even if they believe in an afterlife. Mostly, I think, it's because the idea that someone might still be 'living' in their house is unnerving. If you experience things (or your kids do) that lead you to believe that your mom is still around, embrace it! I'm glad you aren't afraid because there is nothing to be afraid of. There are several types of hauntings, and depending on your experiences, it could be either. A "Residual" haunting is really more like an echo or a tape recording. If your mom spent a lot of time at your house with your kids, you may be experiencing an echo of her energy. Residual hauntings are not aware nor do they interact. Usually these are experienced as the same thing over and over - for example, if someone heard footsteps on the stairs around the same time every day.
An "Intelligent" haunting would be the classic case of a spirit living on after death and somehow contacting or interacting with the living. Interaction could be many things, from as minor as lights flickering to full-bodied apparitions and response to questions or commands. A few days after my mom passed away, I did a little paranormal investigation. My mom and I had a secret code that would let me know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was still around. I haven't gotten that code yet, but spirits are unpredictable! For my investigation, I sat in her spare bedroom (which she called her 'favorite room') with only a digital recorder, digital thermometer, and camera. It is something you could try with some basic equipment, if you wanted. I just sat and talked to her as if she was there, pausing between statements or questions to allow her to answer (if she was there). I had my recorder going and occasionally took pictures. I did not get any physical evidence, but again...spirits are unpredictable! I think next time I should have my niece Ella with me, she seems to have a special attraction for my mom.
As for books to recommend, a good one is "How To Be a Ghost Hunter" by Richard Southall. He talks about different types of hauntings in greater detail than I did above. Since we are "ghost hunters," we read a lot of books geared toward the investigation. Troy Taylor is a good author for that, he is a renowned and respected paranormal investigator. We typically take a scientific approach to formal ghost hunts. I would encourage you to do the same. Keep an open mind about things being your mom, but also don't let emotion cloud your senses into thinking something is paranormal when there is a reasonable explanation for it.